Vent

Photo by camilo jimenez on Unsplash

One of my best friends from high school texted our group chat this morning to let us know she was in the hospital. She had a mild heart attack.

She's doing ok.

I'm definitely not ok. I feel like such a jerk making this about me, but I hate that this is the phase of life we're in. I texted my sister and told her it's probably just PTSD from our dad. I've been dreading turning 48 this year. That's how old my dad was when he had his first heart attack. I know I can do things to guard against it, but pandemic divorce life was not conducive to healthy living for me. 

Another facet of it is my frustration with my ex. This is the kind of stuff we were supposed to face together. I'm pissed at him for not being here for these kinds of things. Not that he was great at that while we were married, honestly. 

That's all. Just needed to vent, and now I'm done. And I do actually feel better. Onward and upward.