April 14, 2022
I got a complimentary text from my mentor at work letting me know that the founders appreciate my joy and optimism that shows through in Webex.
Guess I'm a better actor than I thought.
Not that my job isn't the highlight of my life right now. So grateful for it. But I really don't know how I'm going to be able to put on a happy face for a whole workday when we go back to the office in two weeks.
Yesterday I had my headshot taken at the Nelson-Atkins Museum. I met a few coworkers in person for the first time. As an extrovert, being around people usually energizes me. But I just felt anxious and insecure the whole time I was there. I can't imagine how difficult re-entry has been for introverts who already struggle with social situations. Praying return to office life goes well.
May 13, 2022
Saturday before Easter (April 16) was a crazy busy day. I picked S up from a sleepover, then grabbed R and we went to look at a house that was for rent nearby before heading to the neighborhood Easter egg hunt. Then S & I took R to get her ears pierced and then rushed to an open house before it ended at noon. On a whim, I put in an offer before heading to a going-away party for a friend who moved to Michigan last week. That night my realtor called and said they accepted it, and I was under contract.
I flipped out.
I've been very conscientious in this house hunt to seek the Lord's will. Every time I've considered putting an offer on a house, I've prayed about it, slept on it, sought counsel. This time, I just made an impulsive move. And I only offered $15k over asking. Which made me wonder, why didn't anyone else make a higher bid. What's wrong with this place? WHAT HAVE I DONE?
My friend talked me off the ledge and made the valid point that it was just good timing being Easter weekend and likely not many people were househunting. And getting it for that price in the neighborhood we're in was a literal miracle. It's not perfect - it's not a ranch like I wanted, it needed a new roof, which the sellers replaced, and I'll want to pull out the carpet in the bedrooms before we move in, but all in all, it's a sound decision.
So the last month has been spent in the terrifying inspection, frustrating negotiating and desperate financing of this house. My ex and I had just started splitting up the assets, so some of it was done with cash and the lender didn't accept that as part of my down payment. So my mortgage finally got approved last night - 8 days before closing.
Other major happenings in that time were that S made the varsity dance team, R had her choir concert which was the first public performance at the school since COVID, and V had his piano recital and started spring soccer with I9. It will likely be the last time we participate in I9 Sports. The kids have been in activities with them for 10 years. A crazy milestone. The return to office was wonderful, and I continue to love my company.
The biggest news, though, was on April 28 when the memory care center called to let me know they were bringing in hospice for Mom. It's been over 7 years that she's been there, and I've been praying for her to be freed from this poor quality of life, but it hit me unexpectedly hard. Knowing hospice can last months, my sister and I anticipated Mom would hang on awhile - she's a tough lady. But I got a call this morning saying they were starting continuous care, and it would be soon. I told my mentor I was going to be with my mom but would keep working, but didn't want to join a team call that was happening. Just can't keep that smile on today. But when I got here, my hotspot wasn't working consistently, and my sister is driving in from St. Louis, so I just took the day. Praying she has safe travels here, Mom goes quickly and peacefully and I stop crying - at least until I get somewhere I can take this mask off.
